On his deathbed they asked him where he wanted to be buried.
Bob Hope replied: “Surprise me.”
I had forgotten that he lived to be 100, and also didn’t realize it has been over 1 5 years since he died. For those of you too young to remember Bob Hope, ask your grandparents and thanks for the memories.
This is a tribute to a man who DID make a difference!
ON TURNING 70 – “I still chase women, but only downhill.”
ON TURNING 80 – “That’s the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.”
ON TURNING 90 – “You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.”
ON TURNING 100 – ” I don’t feel old. In fact, I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.”
ON GIVING UP HIS EARLY CAREER (BOXING) – “I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.”
ON GOLF – “Golf is my profession. Show business is just to pay the green fees.”
ON PRESIDENTS – “I have performed for 12 presidents but entertained only six.”
ON WHY HE CHOOSE SHOWBIZ FOR HIS CAREER – “When I was born, the doctor said to my mother, congratulations, you have an eight pound ham.”
ON RECEIVING THE CONGRESSIONAL GOLD MEDAL – “I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.”
ON HIS FAMILY’S EARLY POVERTY – “Four of us slept in the one bed. When it got cold, mother threw on another brother.”
ON HIS SIX BROTHERS – “That’s how I learned to dance. Waiting for the bathroom.”
ON HIS EARLY FAILURES – “I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn’t for the stuff the audience threw at me.”
ON GOING TO HEAVEN – “I have done benefits for ALL religions. I would hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.”
Dear Lord –
Please give me a sense of humor,
give me the grace to see a joke,
to get some humor out of life,
and pass it on to other folk.